Sleeping in a new home

I recently purchased my first home (thank you, thank you). Here's how my first night's sleep went.

12am - I go to bed with the lovely Mrs. Coggblogger, exhausted from hauling boxes all day. Mmm, bed. Gonna sleep like a baby...

1:02am - What the hell was that noise? I go to make sure I locked all the doors and windows downstairs, and I discover several doors and windows I didn't even know existed.

2am -  I notice that the clock radio is plugged into an outlet with no faceplate. I become convinced that the old wiring in the house will short out and the place will go up while we sleep. I decide to watch "24" on my ipod to distract myself.

2:44am - Jack Bauer saves the day. There's that creaking again. I wander through the house, but there's nothing wrong. I track down my official replica Highlander katana sword, just in case.

3:19am - How the f*ck am I going to pay for this house? What was I thinking? We're in a recession! I am totally screwed. 

4:14am - Counting sheep isn't working, so I count the number of "Change of Address" forms I need to fill out. Cell phone, home phone, internet, gas, DWP, Franchise Tax Board, credit card, bank.... shit, it's not working. I put on the ipod for another episode of "24". 

5:00am - Jack Bauer saves the day again, but Chloe's in a bind. I'm NOT watching another, I have to get some sleep. 

5:01am - Was that a flashlight beam outside? Who's out there? I rush to the window, there's no one there. Shit, the pool pump is running. What the hell's that costing me per hour?

5:38am - I finally get to sleep. 

5:39am - Cat jumps off high shelf onto my face. I think I'm being murdered and go completely apeshit. That's it for sleep. I watch another episode of "24". Things work out for Chloe, but some other dude at CTU isn't so lucky. 

7:00am - Mrs. Coggblogger wakes up and smiles at me, asking how my first night went. I make a weird gutteral noise and drool on her.